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31 October 2007 @ 07:34 pm
Abbott and Costello Today  
If Bud Abbott and Lou
Costello were alive today, their

infamous
sketch,

"Who's on First?"
might have turned out something like

this:

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY
A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT: Super

Duper computer store.
Can I help you?

COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm
setting up an office in my den

and I'm thinking about
buying a computer.

ABBOTT:
Mac?

COSTELLO: No, the
name's Lou.

ABBOTT: Your
computer?

COSTELLO: I don't own
a computer. I want to buy one.

ABBOTT:
Mac?

COSTELLO: I told you,
my name's Lou.

ABBOTT: What about
Windows?

COSTELLO: Why? Will it
get stuffy in here?

ABBOTT: Do you want a
computer with Windows?

COSTELLO: I don't
know. What will I see when I look at

the
windows?

ABBOTT:
Wallpaper.

COSTELLO: Never mind
the windows. I need a computer

and
software.

ABBOTT: Software for
Windows?

COSTELLO: No. On the
computer! I need something I can

use to write
proposals, track expenses and run my

business. What do you
have?

ABBOTT:
Office.

COSTELLO: Yeah, for my
office. Can you recommend

anything?

ABBOTT: I just
did.

COSTELLO: You just did
what?

ABBOTT: Recommend
something.

COSTELLO: You
recommended something?

ABBOTT:
Yes.

COSTELLO: For my
office?

ABBOTT:
Yes.

COSTELLO: OK, what did
you recommend for my office?

ABBOTT:
Office.

COSTELLO: Yes, for my
office!

ABBOTT: I recommend
Office with Windows.

COSTELLO: I already
have an office with windows! OK,

let's just say I'm
sitting at my computer and I want

to type a proposal.
What do I need?

ABBOTT:
Word.

COSTELLO: What
word?

ABBOTT: Word in
Office.

COSTELLO: The only
word in office is office.

ABBOTT: The Word in
Office for Windows.

COSTELLO: Which word
in office for windows?

ABBOTT: The Word you
get when you click the blue "W".

COSTELLO: I'm going to
click your blue "w" if you

don't start with some
straight answers. What about

financial bookkeeping?
You have anything I can track

my money
with?

ABBOT T:
Money.

COSTELLO: That's
right. What do you have?

ABBOTT:
Money.

COSTELLO: I need money
to track my money?

ABBOTT: It comes
bundled with your computer.

COSTELLO: What's
bundled with my computer?

ABBOTT:
Money.

COSTELLO: Money comes
with my computer?

ABBOTT: Yes. No extra
charge.

COSTELLO: I get a
bundle of money with my computer?

How
much?

ABBOTT: One
copy.

COSTELLO: Isn't it
illegal to copy money?

ABBOTT: Microsoft gave
us a license to copy Money.

COSTELLO: They can
give you a license to copy money?

ABBOTT: Why not? THEY
OWN IT!

(A few days later)

ABBOTT: Super Duper
computer store. Can I help you?

COSTELLO: How do I
turn my computer off?

ABBOTT: Click on
"START".............
 
 
 
spiderknight on November 1st, 2007 12:20 pm (UTC)
Grrr. On the one hand, I want you to know my eyes rolled. On the other hand, commenting would likely encourage you to put up more of the same...I certainly don't want to comment, then!

Oh, crap, I just did.
karynbautistakarynbautista on November 1st, 2007 03:59 pm (UTC)
bwahahah! My master plan has worked! The compulsion to post has overwhelmed you!
spiderknight on November 2nd, 2007 12:43 am (UTC)
No, it hasn't! I'm not going to post anymore!

....crap!!
Garethgareth_sm on November 1st, 2007 01:57 pm (UTC)
Can I hate you now?

I deal with that everyday... grrr.. ;p
will have to find creative ways to make you suffer.. ;P
karynbautistakarynbautista on November 1st, 2007 04:00 pm (UTC)
lol, good luck with that one. :P